Aftermath

After several months of being back home, I have felt the need to write, up-date, and process.  Since I have been home, life has seemed like a whirl-wind and now this year is coming to a close and another will begin.  Though I am beyond grateful for this season of not being in school, and not working it has certainly taken time for me to adjust.  I felt like a fish out of water for quite some time.  School provided a comfort and routine that I thoroughly enjoyed, but beyond that I think that it was a distraction from my lack of comfort with life in America.  I do not mean physical comfort- I live an extraordinarily comfortable life here, but that is what makes my soul uncomfortable.  I have tried very hard to put into words what I'm feeling and this is the best thing I can come up with.  Life here is all about me; what job am I going to find, will I pursue more education, will I get a new car, will I take a trip, even how will I serve.  Conversely, while I was in Uganda, I experienced the joy of self-forgetfulness (I think I just made up that word).  How refreshing to not think about myself! I miss that. I miss getting so caught up in the Lord and what He is doing that I completely forget about myself.  And though I very well know that I can do that here, I have yet to figure out what that looks like here.  Everything about life in America makes me look at myself.  All of that to say, I pray the Lord will allow me to forget about myself and get completely caught up in Him.  At the same time, I am so grateful that the Lord has brought me to this season of life.  I am learning so much, particularly about His faithfulness.  How awesome to be confident in the Lord's faithfulness! Furthermore, how awesome to know that He has a perfect, sovereign plan and that He allows me to take part in it.  Wow- how humbling, and what a tremendously awesome responsibility.

Another reason I am extremely grateful for this unique season of life is that I have had time to really enjoy things that I used to allow myself to be too busy to enjoy.  For instance, this past fall was the most beautiful I ever remember- the leaves were the most gorgeous golden yellows and vibrant reds. I couldn't help being overwhelmed by the beauty of the Lord's creation.  Now, as the Christmas season is in full swing, I am particularly thankful to have so much time because it has allowed me lots of time to reflect on Jesus' coming to Earth.  My goodness, how He loves us!

I've also been thinking about Mary; in Luke 1:26-38, Jesus' birth is foretold to Mary by the angel Gabriel.  When Gabriel finishes Mary replies "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said." What an extraordinary response!!! She asks only one question, then humbly states that she is the Lord's servant, may His will come to pass. I love it! What a wonderful example of how we should respond.

Also, I am grateful for a potential opportunity to return to Uganda.  If I could ask for prayer in this situation, I would be so grateful- I am in need of discernment and whatever the Lord's will is, that it will come to pass.

Thank you so much for reading my rambling :) I love you and appreciate you so very much!  I pray the Lord sweeps you off your feet with His love.  Merry Christmas!

Isaiah 9:6 "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."