Gratitude in the midst of Heartache

June 21, 2011

This week there is a medical team visiting the Living Hope facility to provide care for the women and today I saw women whose conditions broke my heart. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to hear their personal stories but hopefully they will be healed soon. The first woman I saw had deep scars on either side of her mouth going down her chin and then she had a massive growth the size of a cantaloupe protruding out of her chin. I do not know if she was having reconstructive surgery that resulted in her current condition or what exactly had happened but when I saw her I felt a deep ache inside my heart; I cannot imagine what caused her to be in such a state. The second woman I saw had a wig on which she had pulled down so far over her forehead I could barely see her eyes. But as the bangs in the wig split apart I saw a massive scar that spanned her entire forehead.  Finally, the third woman I saw had no lips and the end of her nose was missing.  Her condition is most likely the result of the LRA which would mutilate women in such a way just to be spiteful and I wonder if the other women’s conditions also resulted from such violent, malicious acts.  Though I know we are not to be vain, but I cannot imagine having my face cut apart to the point that people shutter at me when I walk by. My heart aches for these women; but at the same time praise the Lord that their condition is not only being acknowledged but work is being done to restore their dignity by repairing the damage that has been done to them physically, emotionally, and spiritually, as well as providing employment for them in the interim or long term. God is good and I am thankful for His redemption.

Another recent event involved the other volunteers here, Christiana and Paige. Christiana works at the babies’ home and Paige splits her time between working with the social workers of Watoto and the babies’ home. The Watoto social workers work partly in the community identifying and confirming children who can be brought into Watoto and also work within the Watoto villages to ensure the children and mothers are living well together.  Yesterday morning Paige was called by one of the social workers to go pick up a baby from the hospital that had just been born but they needed to hurry because babies keep dying in the hospitals before the social workers can get to them (this has also broken my heart, may all those babies be in God’s loving hands now). They did reach this baby in time, praise the Lord! They were informed that the mother had some sort of mental illness and kept changing her mind whether she wanted the baby or wanted nothing to do with her. If you would please pray that God would give the mother peace in not having her child as the hospital deemed she could not care for the baby, and also that God would protect this baby girl from any sort of the mental illness her mother suffered from. And also praise Him for rescuing her!

Also, I just wanted to thank the Lord for bringing Christiana and Paige here during the same time that I am here; they have already taught me so much and have provided loving support as we all encounter these difficult situations. The Lord is so faithful in providing for our every need including connections with others and I am deeply grateful.

Learning

June 20, 2011

Just to provide a little bit more background I want to explain more about Watoto and where the Trauma team is currently housed.  The ministries run under Watoto Church include Watoto Childcare Ministries (where the orphans are given a mother, a family, a home, an education, and healthcare in a Watoto Village), Baby Watoto (babies are taken in and kept until they are 2 years old then they graduate to the villages), and Living Hope (a ministry that offers the most vulnerable and marginalized women in Uganda an opportunity to make an income- restoring dignity in spite of suffering from HIV, mutilations, rape or other devastating diseases or experiences). There may be more ministries but these are the ones I am aware of and currently the Trauma team works from the Living Hope facility in Gulu. As a result of being at this facility I have had the tremendous opportunity to interact with some of these women just a little bit.

Every morning we have devotions together, again they are often in Acholi but people here have been so gracious about translating for me. The women begin by singing praises, and I honestly don’t know if I have heard a more beautiful sound than all of their voices together in their gorgeous language. Then one of the staff members from Living Hope or the Trauma team shares devotions and the time is closed with prayer.  Last week I was asked to lead the devotion- all I could think was “what in the world would I have to share with these women who have experienced so much- I have lived an extraordinarily blessed life free of many of the concerns they must encounter daily” But I said I would do it in spite of myself and the Lord has been teaching me so much so I thought I would simply share what I have been learning. This is the outline of what I wanted to share with the ladies but funny as it is as I was printing this out the morning I was to share the power went out so I had to wing it without notes J

Good morning ladies- my name is Kelsie and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to come and share with you this morning. This past week the Lord has been teaching me and correcting my lifestyle and a habit I have.

Let me begin by telling you something about myself; I often lived in fear though the Lord has just recently helped me to label exactly what has been crippling me. From the tiniest, meaningless things such as bugs and whether or not people approve of me to significant matters such as fearing that I will make mistakes that will cause me to not follow God’s plan for my life. I have lived most of my life in constant fear.

This is an extremely exhausting way to live- before I put on my shoes I shake them, pound them against something to make sure there are not any bugs inside that will bite me when I put my foot in. I look at least 10 times before crossing the street hoping to not get hit. Also, before I make any decisions I agonize about them, wondering what the right choice is, fearing that I will make the wrong decision.  Not only is this an exhausting way to live, but by choosing to live in fear I have robbed myself of claiming the freedom I have because I belong to Christ. Also, I have robbed myself of living with the Holy Spirit as my guide by trying to plan for all situations, fearing all situations.

This past week, a friend lovingly brought to my attention how living in such fear is the same as being in prison- I have no freedom by living that way. Furthermore, I was being sinful by constantly being afraid.

So now I would like to share with you the scripture that has been helping me to reform my habit of being fearful.

First and foremost, when we surrender our lives to Christ and choose to become one of his followers he blesses us with the Holy Spirit- for me this is such a tremendous comfort because I am not alone, ever.

                In John 14:25-27 Jesus is preparing his disciples for his crucifixion, resurrection, and the time that would follow. Jesus said to them “All this I have spoke while still with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

And so by Christ sending the Holy Spirit to be with us we should not only be motivated to live according to God’s purpose and according to his will but also we experience the comfort and peace that can only come from the Lord as we encounter circumstances that cause anxiety and fear. Also, Christ commands for us to not be afraid because he has given us the resources to live without fear. 

Furthermore, when examining the characteristics of the Holy Spirit I found 2 Timothy 1:7 which says “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

Therefore, because we have the Holy Spirit we have power, boldness, and courageousness to face anything that may come into our paths. How wonderful that God has blessed us with the Spirit, and by the Lord teaching me to not live in fear I have realized that I have not been allowing the Spirit to lead as I should- but now I know that when I am afraid, the Spirit gives me courage, when I feel timid and shy, the Spirit provides me with boldness, when I feel like I cannot endure, the Spirit helps me to persevere.

At times though I need reassurance of these promises so that I will not return to living in such fear and when such times arise I plan on finding comfort in these verses:

                Romans 8:28, 31, 35, 37-39 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” “What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?” “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels, nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

I love verse 37 We are more than conquerors of all these things through Christ- wow! What a tremendous encouragement that whatever comes our way, Christ has made us conquerors.

The Lord is teaching me to reform my habit of living in fear and I want to encourage you to remember that because we belong to Christ we have been given the Holy Spirit who comforts us and gives us peace. The Spirit is bold and courageous when we are not. And remember also that you are a child of the God of the whole universe and therefore absolutely nothing can separate us from his love; though we may encounter terrifying circumstances, we can face them without fear because we know that the Lord’s love will endure through all things.

Thank you again for allowing me to share with you what the Lord is teaching me. I pray God blesses each and every one of you and reminds you of his promises and blessings. 

I am unworthy to have had the opportunity to share with these women, but I am thankful that the Spirit spoke through me.  I am also thankful for the Lord’s leading and revealing to me this habit I have but also that he forgives me and provides me with the resources to change this lifestyle. I would like to ask for prayer that the Lord continues to strengthen me in not being afraid.

Also, the Trauma team has been encountering an astounding number of cases of epilepsy in the IDP camps; if we could pray for healing for these people. I do not know if their condition is physical or spiritual but by the amount of people being affected there is something strange occurring. Also please pray for the team as they encounter people with such horrific conditions; their hearts break for all they encounter. May the Lord strengthen them and carry the burden for them.

How many cows are you worth? ;)

I have so much to share but have only a little bit of time so I will only share a funny little story for now.

When we first went to the IDP Camp in Oyam the trauma team introduced me as being from a village on the other side of a river but that I grew up in America. They said they usually do this with white visitors as a joke and to release the tension of having a foreigner being part of the sessions. But some of these villagers thought the team was serious and later went to the 'mayor' because they wanted my contact information to find out if I was their sister... oh boy! So when we met with the 'mayor' later on he took the whole issue very seriously and really believed I was from the area. He said that my potential brothers had come looking for my contact information with the hopes of confirming that I was their sister so that they may collect the dowry I would be worth.  The team thought this was hilarious and asked how many cows my dowry would be and apparently I am worth 12 cows... not too shabby ;) Hahaha, we all had a good laugh over it :) But don't worry Mom and Dad, we didn't give them my contact information and one of the team members, Joel, is responsible for handling any of my 'brothers' :)

Mobilization and a Wedding

It's about a week late due to internet/power issues

June 11, 2011

Yesterday I left the house and started walking towards the office… but I haven’t learned my way around Gulu yet and was apparently going the wrong way (ha!) I was blissfully unaware but, thankfully Carl and Chris, one of the trauma team members, were driving by and graciously picked me up J  So we first looked at a property that may serve as the Trauma Team’s new office. It seemed so nice, with plenty of room to meet the team’s needs. Then we went to the office and waited while the team prepared to mobilize a village they are preparing to bring the empower program to.

When we arrived at the village we first met with the LC, the ‘mayor’ of the village per say. One of the trauma team members, Florence, explained to me that the team meets with the LC first to explain what the program is and to ensure that they are welcome to bring the program to the people. Florence also said that because most of the villagers do not receive any sort of aid, whether it is spiritual, emotional or physical, the LCs are usually very welcoming to the team and anything they have to offer. And this was true of Oyam as well.

After meeting with the LC a crowd of at least 60 people had gathered to hear what the program was about. Each of the team members introduced themselves and then started building relationships with the people in the village by engaging them in a story that served as an introduction of the empower program. Though all of this took place in the Acholi language, I was in awe of how quickly these strangers were starting to build relationships with one another.  This is something about the program that I love; the team goes with the goal of building loving relationships with the villagers, confident that God’s healing will follow.  Furthermore, each team member is passionate about his and her work- they long to bring the Lord’s healing to people who have been broken for far too long. And even further still, they have all been so kind to me, explaining everything that they do, translating for me, and being tremendously welcoming.

Today I was invited to attend the wedding of one of the team members. How blessed I am to be welcomed in such a way. As the bride entered the church the women started doing their African cheer- soooooooo cool J  The bride and groom were so joyful and the pastors were honored by the marriage taking place. May God bless their marriage and may their marriage reflect Christ’s love for the church. Everything about today was beautiful, lovely, and joyful.

~Gulu~

Yesterday was a such a blessed day; I learned so much, experienced so much, I cannot believe God has blessed me so much to be in this place- who am I that he would give me such a privilege.

So for now I will share the history I learned today. The people of Northern Uganda have experienced turmoil for a long time and in fact the situation that the Ugandan military created allowed for Joseph Kony to rise up with many people’s support.  Today I was told the story of a man whose entire family was killed by the Ugandan military and also that stories like his were not uncommon. The atrocities attributed to the LRA including rape, pillaging, murder, and the capturing of people were being committed by the military before Joseph Kony established the LRA. In fact the LRA was established in response to the military’s abuse of the Northern Ugandans.  Therefore the people found themselves in a difficult place; they could not rely on their military or government for protection and the rebels that claimed to fight for them were now committing the same crimes they were initially fighting against.

Furthermore, due to the lay of the land, how the villages are spread so far apart and the surrounding area is overgrown with tall grasses the LRA was able to massacre the people and the Ugandan government was not able to provide any protection for them but realized that they needed to make an attempt despite their past actions.  Therefore, the government established the Internally Displaced Peoples (IDP) Camps and forced the villagers into such camps saying that if they were not in the camps the military would assume they were with the rebels and they would be killed.  Though the establishment of these camps was supposed to provide protection the camps were often the target of the LRA and the people were still not safe.  The people of Northern Uganda have lived in such terror for nearly 20 years.

Now that Joseph Kony has moved to the Congo, and the conflict has resolved the government has withdrawn its support to the IDP Camps.  Some of the people have returned to their villages while others have remained in the camps.  However, because the government does not recognize that there are still displaced people these individuals do not receive any aid from the government. When I asked what the source of income is for these people I was told that they literally live off the land and if they are able to sell anything they harvest they use that money to buy clothes, or other necessities.

So now that I have provided some history I will explain how Watoto is being the hands and feet of Christ to the people of Northern Uganda.  A few years ago the Trauma Rehabilitation department was established and they have a few phases in which they work. They go into the IDP Camps and build relationships with the people by living in the huts for 2 week periods.  While these relationships are being built the team offers trauma counseling through a program called Empower. Sometime after this counseling takes place the team returns to do follow-up sessions to review everything the participants have learned. Sometime after that the team returns for 2 more weeks to offer a discipleship program in which the gospel is presented.

I was blessed to drive to one of the IDP camps where the team was starting discipleship. It is amazing to me the lengths the team goes to in order to reach these people; it is a 2 and a half hour grueling car ride on roads with the biggest pot holes I have ever seen. Once the team is there they sleep in the very same huts that people they are serving sleep in. I was truly in awe of such servanthood. The people in the camp were so kind and welcoming despite the language barrier (we had a translator J; as the team introduced me, the women stood and started singing a song to welcome me. My name was difficult for them to say so they asked if they could call me Ketchie- how wonderful that they want to give me a name. 

One of my favorite parts of the day was listening to people give their testimonies about how the Empower program changed their lives.  One woman described how she was so overcome with anger that she could hardly care for her children, her friends or herself, but since she attended the program she has forgiven so much and is now able to be a better mother, friend, and person.  Another woman said that the Empower program encouraged her to care for the orphans in her community and how she used to worry constantly but now she does not worry and provides care for these orphans.  A man told his story as well, saying that due to the turmoil caused by the conflict he became an alcoholic, not caring for his family and just falling deeper into the addiction. But the Empower program helped him to make serious change in his life and now he is living up to his responsibilities.

How powerful these testimonies were; just a few weeks and God has changed lives and now they will have the opportunity to learn more about him, how to obey him, and live a life that is glorifying to him. Wow- praise God!!!

I am so thankful that God has blessed me and allowed me to witness such triumphs after tragedy.

Though I still do not know what lies ahead, how I will be used with the trauma team or any of the specific details I am deeply grateful for this opportunity.  Thank you all for contributing to getting me here and for your prayers along the way. Thank you Jesus for being Lord. All glory to you!

Uganda... finally!

Praise the Lord, I'm finally here! After a year and a half of applying, waiting, and preparing I am so thrilled to be here :)
I arrived on Tuesday morning and was greeted by my dear friend Dorcas who my family met while she was touring with the Watoto Children's Choir. We travelled from the airport, which is in Entebbe to the capitol, Kampala. We ran a few errands, exchanged money and things of that nature and then I was dropped off at the volunteers' house where I met several other volunteers.  They were so kind and helped me get settled, took me grocery shopping, and are being helpful in so many ways. Overall it was a lovely first day in Uganda.

Wednesday, I went to the church where I attended the Watoto staff devotions where the devotion leader discussed how important it is to be intentional about our thoughts making sure that every thought is taken captive and made obedient to Christ... how important for me to hear that my focus must always been on Christ throughout this experience; no matter the circumstances, the darkness, or anything else, Christ is the reason I am here and he is the one I serve. After devotions I had a volunteer orientation with the volunteer coordinator and then had a meeting with Carl, the director of the psychosocial department of Watoto. He and I will leave for Gulu on Monday where he will give me more details of what my responsibilities will be.

Yesterday I had the tremendous opportunity to go with Dorcas to one of the Watoto villages that is about an hour away from Kampala where she was facilitating a group counseling session with the mothers of Watoto. Their goal is to provide the mothers with counseling for the traumatic experiences they have endured so that they will be the best mothers they can be to the children.  After working with the mothers, they will begin to counsel the children. The psychosocial department has recently just started working in the villages in Kampala because their main focus has been in Gulu since the department was established to help the child soldiers. But, all of the orphaned children and their house mothers have experienced traumas and are also in need of healing. After the group session I was blessed to go visit some of the mothers' homes; what extraordinarily beautiful, strong, compassionate women. We then transported one of the mothers to the hospital because she has been very sick for 2 weeks and not responding to treatment at the Watoto clinic- please keep her in your prayers, I do not know her name but she was very sick.

Today was a Ugandan holiday so I had the day to myself so I visited the babies' home here in Kampala and spent some time with the beautiful children. What extraordinary little miracles they all are.
Thank you all for your love and prayers. I miss you already but am so extraordinarily blessed to be here.
With love,
Kelsie