Aftermath

After several months of being back home, I have felt the need to write, up-date, and process.  Since I have been home, life has seemed like a whirl-wind and now this year is coming to a close and another will begin.  Though I am beyond grateful for this season of not being in school, and not working it has certainly taken time for me to adjust.  I felt like a fish out of water for quite some time.  School provided a comfort and routine that I thoroughly enjoyed, but beyond that I think that it was a distraction from my lack of comfort with life in America.  I do not mean physical comfort- I live an extraordinarily comfortable life here, but that is what makes my soul uncomfortable.  I have tried very hard to put into words what I'm feeling and this is the best thing I can come up with.  Life here is all about me; what job am I going to find, will I pursue more education, will I get a new car, will I take a trip, even how will I serve.  Conversely, while I was in Uganda, I experienced the joy of self-forgetfulness (I think I just made up that word).  How refreshing to not think about myself! I miss that. I miss getting so caught up in the Lord and what He is doing that I completely forget about myself.  And though I very well know that I can do that here, I have yet to figure out what that looks like here.  Everything about life in America makes me look at myself.  All of that to say, I pray the Lord will allow me to forget about myself and get completely caught up in Him.  At the same time, I am so grateful that the Lord has brought me to this season of life.  I am learning so much, particularly about His faithfulness.  How awesome to be confident in the Lord's faithfulness! Furthermore, how awesome to know that He has a perfect, sovereign plan and that He allows me to take part in it.  Wow- how humbling, and what a tremendously awesome responsibility.

Another reason I am extremely grateful for this unique season of life is that I have had time to really enjoy things that I used to allow myself to be too busy to enjoy.  For instance, this past fall was the most beautiful I ever remember- the leaves were the most gorgeous golden yellows and vibrant reds. I couldn't help being overwhelmed by the beauty of the Lord's creation.  Now, as the Christmas season is in full swing, I am particularly thankful to have so much time because it has allowed me lots of time to reflect on Jesus' coming to Earth.  My goodness, how He loves us!

I've also been thinking about Mary; in Luke 1:26-38, Jesus' birth is foretold to Mary by the angel Gabriel.  When Gabriel finishes Mary replies "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said." What an extraordinary response!!! She asks only one question, then humbly states that she is the Lord's servant, may His will come to pass. I love it! What a wonderful example of how we should respond.

Also, I am grateful for a potential opportunity to return to Uganda.  If I could ask for prayer in this situation, I would be so grateful- I am in need of discernment and whatever the Lord's will is, that it will come to pass.

Thank you so much for reading my rambling :) I love you and appreciate you so very much!  I pray the Lord sweeps you off your feet with His love.  Merry Christmas!

Isaiah 9:6 "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Until We Meet Again

I left Gulu a few days ago and only have a few more days left in Uganda.  To say the least my heart is torn in two. One part of me is overwhelmed with excitement to get home, see my family, hold my niece and catch up with all of my dear friends.  The other part of me does not want to leave because I have completely fallen in love with Gulu, with the people and particularly with the body of believers I have had the tremendous opportunity to serve. Particularly the Trauma Team: Florence, Chris, Joel, Francis Oyat, Christine, Jaspher, Carol, Joan, Nick, Francis Oloya, and David. Every single one of these people welcomed me as a family member and the more time we spent together the deeper our love for one another grew.  It is truly incredible that half way across the world, in a culture drastically different from my own, among people who are unlike any other people I have met before I have found family.  This instantaneous, intimate bond can only be attributed to the fact that we are all God’s children; I feel so blessed to have experienced what that brotherly and sisterly love is meant to be like.  To my new brothers and sisters- I love you dearly and I miss you so much already that my heart aches.  My prayer is that I get to see again soon, but, as my dear friend Paige said, if not this side of heaven I’m thankful we can be sure to see each other on the other side. So, I will not say goodbye but rather until we meet again my beloved brothers and sisters, may you continue to do the Lord’s work with passion that consumes every fiber of your being, may God bless you all and may He give you the desires of your hearts.  I will pray for you always and I am deeply thankful for the fellowship we have had the past few months. I love you.

Vulnerability, Trusting, Blessings

The past week has certainly been an adventure, a time of trusting, a time of praying, a time of excitement and anticipation, and a time of realizing that this summer and my time in Uganda is coming to a close. 

This week I started in Rockoko and I loved being there. The people were so eager to be rehabilitated and eager for the gospel. There were approximately 400 people who completed the Empower rehabilitation program and I don’t have an exact figure but many of the people also accepted Christ! Praise God! On the day of their graduation from the program there was a mission trip team from the U.S. that was visiting so all of the participants put together various skits and dances to perform for the visitors. The Acholi people are truly beautiful, creative, and inspiring; I have been so blessed to learn from them and to live alongside them these past few months. Their growing fervor to glorify the Lord and make His name known to all people is incredible. How great is our God that He has brought healing to these beautiful people who have been viciously tormented for decades and that as a result they will make His name famous. All I can think of is the Chris Tomlin song “God of this City” with the lyrics that say “Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city”- God is moving in Gulu, people’s hearts are turning to Him, and He has so much planned for this city.

A small side note compared to the greatness of God working in the camp, I got sick while I was there. I’m fairly certain it was malaria, I didn’t actually get tested (I really don’t like getting blood drawn ;) ) but based on the number of times I’ve been bitten by mosquitoes (approximately 500 times), fever, achiness, chills, headache, fatigue and cyclical nature of the symptoms, malaria is the most likely. But God is healing me J I feel wonderful now, thank the Lord.   

Furthermore… my niece was born on Wednesday!!! I was still in the camp anxiously awaiting the news but when the news came it also came with news of struggle during delivery. Hearing this news while being so far away from home was extremely difficult, but just as in every trial God is teaching me something. The Lord has been revealing to me more and more that I must learn how to be vulnerable in the Christian community so that I may share my burden with others; I am surrounded by people who want to ‘do life’ with me so why in the world do I try and carry burdens alone. This past week has been one of those times when I tried to carry everything alone; I didn’t want to tell anyone I was sick because I didn’t want to impose on anyone and I didn’t want to share with anyone how scared I was for my sister and my niece or how badly I wished I was home to be with my family during this time. But as I said the Lord is teaching me how to be more open with those around me. God has provided me with community among these lovely ladies and the trauma team for a reason; fellowship with other believers is important for a reason. So all of that to say that I am trying to be more open and vulnerable so that I don’t isolate myself from people who are so loving, encouraging, and, most importantly, filled with the Lord.

Despite the difficulties though Alli and the baby are doing well now, all glory to God! As of the early hours of Friday morning I still didn’t know my niece’s name. When Alli and Chad were ready to announce her name my mom called me in the middle of the night here and said “quick, call your sister!” Somewhat in a panic I called Allison, she quickly put my mind at east that nothing was wrong but that she wanted to tell me the name of her newest angel. The phone reception here is awful but I heard Alli say that her name is Lucy Breanne. I immediately burst into tears- I have never felt so honored in all my life. To my beloved sister- our hearts have always had a special bond and you are my best friend. I am truly speechless when it comes to expressing my gratitude for you sharing my name with your precious daughter. What a gift! I cannot wait to get home and hold her J and I cannot wait to hug you, my dear sister.

So, it has been an eventful week filled with wonderful times of growing, trusting, and being showered with blessings.

Trust

A few weeks ago I was attending the Watoto staff devotion and the pastor’s wife, Jackie, was teaching us.  Jackie is truly an extraordinary woman. She is spunky and charismatic, she fiercely loves her children and husband, she is extraordinarily beautiful and has the voice of an angel.  I am so thankful I had the opportunity to meet her and learn from her.

Jackie shared Jeremiah 17:5-8 “This is what the Lord says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

Through this passage God has been teaching me that I am called to not only trust him with my own life and family but I am called to trust him in all things including trusting him to take care of all of his children.  As I have walked around the streets of Gulu and heard one heart wrenching story after another I felt my heart becoming heavier and more burdened.  Though it is okay to feel empathy and a longing to be Christ’s hands and feet to the broken world it is not okay for me to become overwhelmed with despair and a sense of hopelessness because that means that I am not trusting God to take care of his children. As verse 8 says the one who has full confidence in the Lord receives constant nourishment and reassurance from the Lord and therefore is able to overflow and bear fruit (serving the broken).  After hearing this lesson and being convicted I have found that living with this new perspective allows for the joy of the Lord to flow more freely. Furthermore, there is such an extraordinary sense of freedom in trusting God to take care of His children; all of His children.

Camping- African Style

I cannot believe that in a little more than two weeks I will be on my way home. As my Grandma says “time flies whether you’re having any fun or not” although I have had more fun than I ever anticipated and have loved my time here and am sad that it’s already coming to an end.

BUT, it’s not over yet J And before it is, I have the tremendous opportunity to go stay in one of the former IDP camps with the Trauma team. I will leave on Monday the 18th and return on Thursday the 21st. The area is called Rockoko (pronounced roch-coco) which means “worst crying.” This area was given this name because it is known for being destitute and miserable. I was told that when people told others they were travelling to Rockoko the people would say “go at your own risk, your crying will grow worse there.”

Other than the story of its name, I know very little about this area. I am so excited to live among the people, learn more about them and from them, and experience God moving, healing, and transforming lives.

I would like to ask for prayer during this time; I feel like God has been preparing me for such a time as this- I don’t know what He has in store but want to be willing, whatever it may be J May He be glorified, may His love overflow. I’m praying with excitement and expectation!

Thank you for praying with me, I expect to have wonderful things to share with you when I get back.

Personal Transformation

July 7, 2011

God has also been transforming me; as I wrote earlier, I have been learning so much about myself, my habit of living in fear, and how Christ has freed me from that but also I have been learning about the power and authority we have because we are his.  Though these are things that I have heard week after week growing up in the church I never claimed them. I certainly believed that God performed miracles through other people but never acknowledged that because I am His I have that same power and authority. I have always defined myself as a timid, unassertive individual who just does as she is told. What a horrible attitude for a daughter of the one true God. He has called me to be so much more, to own the fact that I am a daughter of the King. I say that with absolutely no arrogance or pride because it is all His doing, not mine, but because He has chosen me I should claim the identity He has given me. Cristianna shared these passages with me and prompted the question ‘what would life look like if we claimed this identity and these truths?’ 1 Peter 2:9-10 “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”  Deuteronomy 7:6-9 “For you are a people holy to the Lord your God, the Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession. The Lord did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. But it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.” 2 Peter 1:3-9 “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is near sighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.”   The importance in claiming this identity is that then God receives all the glory for who I am. Others will know Him because I live out the identity he has given me. I’m so thankful that God is revealing these truths to me and that He has surrounded me by people who help to teach me His truths. Now may he continue to work in me and the other believers so that we may glorify him in everything we are.

July 6, 2011

So I will do my best to fill in the missing details from the past week or so. My computer screen broke a few weeks ago but last Thursday we had a volunteers’ meeting in Kampala so I was able to get it fixed when we were there- so thankful to be able to communicate with you all J

In Gulu the past few weeks there have been terrible thunder and lightning storms- I don’t think I have ever experienced such storms before. During one of the storms the lightning struck near a school and killed 16 children and 1 teacher. During another storm a woman was killed right next to Watoto Church. We have all been praying that God would comfort the families who have lost their loved ones.  While we were at small group last night we heard that one of the worship team member’s mom was murdered the previous day and a young man was murdered nearby.  Sudden, unexpected death is a far-too-often occurrence here and it shocks me every time I hear of deaths including those resulting from the lightning, babies dying, people getting sick and dying or nearly dying, even people I have met discussing how they have witnessed people dying. It’s difficult to say the least. Ultimately I have become increasingly aware of how desperately people need the tools and resources to cope with experiencing traumatic events so frequently. Just yesterday a woman at Living Hope talked about how she was on a bus traveling to Sudan and someone shot the woman sitting next to her and she died. For some reason none of the passengers were allowed to get off the bus for an entire week; this woman not only witnessed someone’s death but then had to sit next to the decomposing body for a week. If that’s not traumatic I don’t know what is. Something that is interesting though is that this woman started sharing her story wondering if her experience qualified as a ‘traumatic event’. I am in awe of how God is using the Trauma team to educate people about their experiences, helping them understand that there are enduring effects to these experiences if they are not addressed, then providing them the resources to address the experiences and work through them. I feel so blessed to simply witness God transforming lives.